The Pan Eros Film Festival sat down with the director of The Boxer and No Man Like Me, Jaq Quicksilver, for a discussion on festivals, censorship, and the creative process. Excerpts of the interview can be seen in the Theatrical Filmmaker Spotlight from this year! Full interview is below.
Interviewed by Brodin Petrichor
Transcription by Keri Grassl-Ziegler
PEFF: I’m here with Jaq Quicksilver! Please tell me a little bit about who you are, where you’re from, and about both of your films.
Jaq: My name’s Jaq. I’m non-binary. I’m a transmasculine adult content creator and performer. It’s going to be six years this month. I’m from the San Francisco Bay Area. But since 2024, I have lived in Amsterdam in the Netherlands.
I transitioned medically while making adult content, which is not unheard of, but it is somewhat of a unique experience. And that definitely comes across in the kind of films that I make.
So No Man Like Me was originally made as an advertisement for my films, which people find quite surprising. It obviously has a lot of depth to it beyond being an ad. But it was conceptualized as like: what’s something I make a lot of and what do people tend to respond to? And like: who would actually be watching this?
PEFF: I think that this is just such a personal story. And as you said, it was the kick off this new phase of your content. I would love to hear a little bit more about the process and what that entailed.
Jaq: At the time I was making a lot of POV (point of view) role play where I’m interacting with the viewer in some way. And there’s an entire commercial porn industry around this, from people talking to their cell phones to virtual reality productions. So it’s a very popular genre of content to create, enjoy, and consume.
I knew that mine was different from most other peoples, and people who like it really like it. One form of this is like a POV JOI where it’s a Point Of View Jerk Off Instructions and like the viewer is supposed to play along.
And so my concept for this ad, which became a short film that I was submitting places, was what if the POV JOI was not about the viewer’s pleasure actually, but it was about mine and what I wanted to do with them while they were there in my world. So that was a big driving point for the script.
PEFF: It’s a very poignant script. Visually, there’s all these close ups of your hands, your veins, your cuffs, putting everything together. Do you feel that it takes a lot more to make personalized content like that?
Jaq: Yes and no. I think that like any art, it comes easier with practice, at least for that sense of I can share things and it’s safe to share things.
There was a stroke of inspiration when I was at a very special moment that year where I was feeling very exuberant in transition and wanted to be. Exuberant is the right word because it is a little confrontational, but it’s not aggressive at all. It’s inviting and it’s celebratory. And I’m really glad those feelings came across because that is how I felt.
PEFF: Why don’t we go ahead and move to talking about The Boxer? I would love to hear a little bit more about this one. You did this in a partnership with Jude, right?
Jaq: I did, yes. Jude is my partner I live with, formerly of Seattle, and we had the concept for this film. We filmed a number of things together, but we had the concept for this one because we were going to the Berlin Porn Film Festival and had this awesome apartment we were renting. And suddenly we just had a brainstorm and were like, “Okay, let’s make the short film.” It was planned, but the vision cohered really quickly.
We were very committed to doing it because we actually got COVID while we were in Berlin, and we were just disgustingly sick the last three days, and just hanging out. But we had scheduled the time to film this. So we really, really needed to film it. So behind the scenes, we’re taking medication. There’s really loud music playing so we were energized. It was quite an interesting filming experience for that reason. Then the idea was always to have it be a relatively silent film with a soundtrack.
We met Rose, the composer, in Berlin and really loved her work. We saw her work on a number of films. We were like, “You’re really awesome. We’d love to work with you on this film project.” And she said yes. So all in all, I didn’t expect this film to come out as soon as it did. But I also had some support from the sex worker film community here in Amsterdam to get it finished really quickly.
PEFF: Wow. That’s awesome. So when it came to the ideation, were there just a bunch of punching bags at the apartment that you were renting out?
Jaq: It was a former training studio. So they had basically a home gym there, which was really fun. And the bags were these gorgeous leather bags of different color leathers. We’re just like (chef’s kiss).
PEFF: Yeah, they’re extremely vintage. Did you or Jude ever have a background in boxing before, where it has this attachment or is it just the visual stimuli was so strong?
Jaq: It’s a bit of both. We’re both gym rats. So we were definitely inspired to do something with a gym setting. And we’d always talked about it, but you know, it’s hard to get a private gym. So we’re like, wow, this is our chance, we have to, and we have a DS relationship. So in our private play, I get kicked and punched sometimes, there’s a pain and pleasure dynamic already. So we’re like, “Wow, this is the perfect setting to show something of that pleasure and that joy and fun.”
PEFF: You show that off really well. The impact of the strikes to the chest. I could feel the air being pushed out the lungs at that moment. There’s something visually that I love about boxing; everything from ritualistic aspects of the hand wraps, going around the palms and the fingers, something about big gloved hands is just really cool.
Jaq: The focus, and it’s tactile, and it’s between two people. So it’s like a dramatic sport in that way.
PEFF: Yeah. And I think that connection really plays through super well in your film. I’ve heard that the Berlin Film Festival is awesome, but also everyone does end up getting sick.
Jaq: I know, I was sad I didn’t front load more scenes with other people because by the end of it, I was like, “Oh no, I’m not fit to be around humans.”
PEFF: What other highlights came from that film festival?
Jaq: Oh, they had an adult industry forum. So they had workshops and panels and stuff, which was really cool and just a great way to meet people and network. Network sounds very corporate, but it’s just like: “Oh, I know it’s a job. So I know you from wherever.”
And of course you just meet people then you’re like: “Oh, we’re like creatively aligned. We can like, if not this time, then like, you know, at this other festival or the next time you’re in my country around here.”
So that was really great. I always want to go to see as many film blocks as possible. And then it’s not humanly possible because I need to eat annoyingly, but the films I saw were great. And so I always loved that.
PEFF: Yeah. “I need to eat annoyingly” is such a statement.
Jaq: I believe I shouldn’t have physical needs. And my partner is constantly helping me understand I do have those.
PEFF: Right. Maintain the temple. Do you feel like there’s a difference between making content versus the personal projects that you would take on for your own inner creativity? Is there a difference or are they all roped up together for you?
Jaq: They overlap for sure, but they are different. So a lot of what I call “jerk off clips,” it’s commercial porn, like porn that’s meant to sell and sell it in more volume. There’s differences in filming and concepts for sure. It’s an art, but the art is creating and sustaining arousal, and so sometimes this is not always the same thing as telling a compelling story, for example.
So there is that difference. I try to always have some kind of something going on just for my interest. I gotta have a little story or something in here.
When it comes to creating with other people as well, it’s very much collaborative. That’s just the word because it describes you guys are together, you’re talking about: What do we want to make? What do we feel will be successful for our goals, whether that’s submitting to a festival, or selling a lot of pornography, or doing this for the experience. There’s a lot of goals people can have.
PEFF: What are some of the big projects that you’re working on where you feel like you’re injecting story?
Jaq: I’m kind of in a low space right now between large projects. I have one that’s still just an idea, but it’s a firm idea, which is where Jude and I have filmed a lot of things together from our personal lives. And we would like to make a documentary. That’s a very ambitious project that’s going to require a ton of time. And so I haven’t started it yet, though I have cataloged files and things like that.
I also have another film I just directed, I didn’t star in, from 2023 but it’s kind of on hold, as the cast reaches a consensus about when it will be released. So yeah, I’m kind of just like mostly making commercial stuff. And I expect that in the coming year, I’ll start to really move on documentary stuff and continue to make the regular releases that I make, which are fantasy, role play, and stuff like that.
Almost everything I filmed with Jude, most of that BDSM content cannot be sold commercially because of censorship. So it’s purely for the love of the game and maybe festivals where people would be interested and able to see that. And so one thing I do grapple with every day in my work is censorship. Censorship from platforms, censorship from payment processors is a huge one. And so if you’re showing blood of any kind, it’s basically never allowed.
If you’re doing consensual needle play, it’s not allowed because it’s like harm, even though it’s safe and consensual. That is another aspect of The Boxer as well as other projects I work on with Jude is where there’s no monetary gain at all. And it’s just not possible in the digital landscape right now.
PEFF: I appreciate you putting forward artistry for the sake of artistry. I’ll say that if festivals are one of the few outlets to release that content, then it explains why I have so much blood in my submissions. It seems over-proportioned, but you know, cool. There’s just a lot of it.
Jaq: The people yearn for blood!
PEFF: The people yearn for blood. Yes!
Jaq: I think that it’s so fucking important to chronicle what you love and to share what you love and what gives your life meaning, especially if there’s systems of power that say, “This is not allowed” and it is allowed actually. And I’m doing it and I’m going to let other people see it if they want to.
I think it’s like any art where you just have to create and I’m really glad that there’s an audience and that it reaches people who feel the same way. I feel the same way every time I go to a porn film festival, I fucking cry at least once just because I’m moved and I see something in myself or I see something that gives me a new perspective or that is incredibly joyful in a way that surprises me. It’s just so meaningful. So yeah. Thank you as well for making platforms for people to share their art and to experience art. It’s important.
PEFF: Thank you for sharing that. I have one last question I would love to ask. If you have a dream project, what would you want to do?
Jaq: I think my dream project would be something to do with love, showing the way people love each other. That’s very surprising and sexy, but that’s what really turns me on is people being in love and being freaks about it. So I don’t have a very specific answer, but I think something along those lines,
PEFF: I’m thrilled to see it and whatever way makes you feel satisfied and happy to create. Thank you Jaq for joining us. Where can people find you?
Jaq: jaqquicksilver.com and that should have all my links and socials and what’s up.